Could your goals be hurting you?

January 21, 2015

January, where have you gone?! Happens.Every.Year. It’s as if the holiday hangover lingers for weeks and by the time the migraine is gone, we’re likely either staring at our work like a deer in headlights with our brains trying to play catch up or beating ourselves up because we still haven’t followed through on our new year’s resolutions. Bagh!

If this sounds familiar, I feel ya. We start off with so many good intentions (a la the road to hell), but somewhere along the way, we falter.

Don’t fret.

With a few concepts in mind, you’ll feel better about diving into February.

About those resolutions - honestly ask yourself why you’re committing to those goals in the first place. It’s one thing to say you’re going to reach X weight just because [insert your reason here] and it’s another that you’ll reach a healthy weight that feels right for you.

The first decision comes from a place of ego and a subjugation to please outside forces. When you do that, you’re relinquishing your own power and accepting others’ will for you. Subconsciously, you’re setting yourself up for failure by developing a victim mentality that is co-dependent (just like a bad relationship) on others’ approval.

Not where you want to be.

Instead, declare an intention to achieve a goal that is right for you because it is physically healthy for your condition in particular AND aligns with you spiritually. How to tell if it aligns with you spiritually?

  • gut check: when you think about this goal, does it feel contrived or natural? You’ll experience a physical manifestation when you’re resisting the natural flow of the universe or not being 100% truthful and it is usually felt in the abdominal area. Those cramps and stomach knots? Yea, that’s your nervous system responding to stress. Your body’s telling you “Uh, dude, you’re way off base here. Let’s get back on track.”
  • are you hurting anyone including yourself? This could be in any form. No? Good.
  • does it feel like authentic you? Yes? Good.
  • are you being good to yourself? You already know you’re your own worst critic but you can also be your best friend! And just like a good friend does, you must watch over yourself and keep yourself in check. Take care that your needs are being met. This self-care builds confidence and strength. Remember to be gentle, though, and kind.

Reflect on your motivations and determine if they’re in your best interest or if you’re just fulfilling some external source’s (read: society, friends, spouse, etc.) perception of ideal.

If you’re about to give up on resolutions and need some motivation to keep going or simply want some inspiration to start off the year on good, solid footing, check out my post on the four New Year’s resolutions you can ACTUALLY achieve and will make you happier.

Do you have resolutions that you’re shaky on? Or perhaps you’re going strong on your goals? I want to hear all about it in the comments!

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